Regardless of whether you are the one who filed for divorce or you are responding to a divorce, it can be extremely difficult to come to emotional terms with the situation. Filing papers at the courthouse does not immediately cut off the strong feelings you have for your spouse. If you are the petitioner, you have the option of dismissing the case at any time before a response is filed or before the other spouse is served. Whether you should proceed with the divorce is a deeply personal decision. While our feelings are important guides, they can prevent us from looking at the situation objectively.
The first question is whether everything has been done to try to salvage the marriage. Did you and your spouse try marriage counseling? Has your spouse addressed his/her addiction issues? Has your spouse cut ties with the person with whom he/she was having an affair? Depending on how you answer these types of questions, you may decide it is fruitful to attempt a reconciliation.
You also have to ask yourself why you filed for divorce in the first place. Were you concerned about the safety of your children? Were you concerned for your own safety? Can you envision yourself financially secure if you remain in the marriage? Has anything been done to remedy the problems the drove you to file?
Filing for divorce is a scary proposition. The longer you have been married, the scarier it is because it is harder to envision your life without your spouse. You feel as though you are standing on the edge of precipice with an unseen force pushing you forward while all you can see over the edge is darkness and the unknown. By asking yourself the questions set out here, you can get a clearer idea about whether to consider reconciliation. Look into joining a local divorce support group. Talk with your family, friends, and clergy. You might also exploretherapy with a trained counselor. Before you make any decisions, talk with your family law attorney. If you have more questions, contact the Alford Law Office.
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