Most counselors would tell you that they wish you consider
marriage counseling before contemplating a divorce. Nevertheless, I would like to think it is
never too late to salvage the relationship if both parties are committed to the
effort. Marriage counseling as most
people think of it is generally short-term therapy consisting of between six
and a dozen sessions. However, some
types of therapy may be more ongoing.
I recently heard from one couple who had successfully saved their
marriage after almost divorcing only two years into the marriage. That have now been married six years and
still see a marriage counselor on a monthly or bi-monthly basis just "to
keep things running smooth." This
couple learned that marriage counseling not only helps them deal with current
issues they are having but also how to spot the mole hills before either party
makes them into giant mountains. People
often find that marriage counseling not only strengthens their relationship,
but also helps their overall mental health because problems in a relationship
also usually lead to other personal problems such as chronic depression,
anxiety, and stress.
A word of warning if you consider marriage counseling; assuming
the counselor is doing his job correctly, both parties should be made to feel
somewhat uncomfortable during the process.
That is just part of change and obviously if you want the counseling to
work, a change is going to have to take place.
Additionally, in order to give the counseling a real opportunity to
succeed both parties need to make some commitments:
• Commit
to attending a set number of sessions.
Most counselors would recommend at least six sessions.
• Commit
to improving the relationship
• Do
not make any big moves in dissolving the marriage. This may include actually filing for divorce,
moving out of the house, or continuing a relationship with a paramour
• Follow
the recommendations of the counselor.
Keep in mind when looking for a counselor that different
counselors have different approaches.
Some counselors are focused solely on maintaining the relationship
absent abuse or danger. Other therapists
are more focused on the mental health of the individuals involved and remain
somewhat neutral as to saving the marriage.
Regardless, the survival of a marriage is a long-term effort and
commitment. Setting aside time to work
on your relationship is important to its success.
Labels: dating, divorce, divorce lawyer, family law, family law attorney, kentucky, marriage counseling, therapy
