You have decided it is over, maybe papers have been filed, all you want to do is be away from the other person. But should you move out of the house? I am asked that question with some regularity. Many people are scared that they might be accused of abandonment, but with the advent of Kentucky's no-fault divorce system, that is no longer a concern. Nevertheless, it does not necessarily mean that you should immediately move out.
The first question is whether you will be asking the court to designate you as the primary residential parent for your children. If so, you will want to stay with the children and maintain as much stability for them as possible. Therefore, remaining in the home would be best.
If you believe that ultimately, you will want to keep the residence, it is usually a good idea for you to remain in the home. Oftentimes, once one party moves out he/she establishes another residence, it is very easy for a court to see that the living situation is working and award the house to the party still residing in the house. That is not to say it happens every time, but it often comes into the court's decision making process.
If you have decided to leave, you need to think about the process rationally. Leaving is going to most likely increase your emotional and financial stress. Whether it is to escape domestic violence or you have simply decided that leaving is the best thing for you and your family, you need to approach this situation with a great deal of planning. You will never have a better opportunity to prepare for your divorce case than when you are in the home. Consider the following points:
- Figure out the finances. If you are leaving you need to assess both parties' incomes (or lack thereof), document that income, and work out a budget. The last thing you need to do is stretch yourself too thin by renting a place you can barely afford and then get hit with a child support obligation.
- Prepare for co-parenting. Help the children cope with mommy or daddy moving out. Kentucky now requires some form of co-parenting class in divorces involving children.
- Itemize the property and debt. You will never have a better opportunity to catalog the property that may be in dispute than when you are in the home. Do it before you leave. This includes the residence itself, intangible assets (financial records, stocks, bonds, etc.), business interests, and physical assets such as furniture, artwork, vehicles, etc.
- Marshal your resources. Make sure you have access to as much money as possible. Divorces are expensive and so it setting up your new place. Talk with family and friends about helping you with loans/gifts. Access bank accounts and credit accounts. You may consider selling some items, but discuss this with your attorney first.
- Do not think that just because you have moved out that you can behave in any manner you like. You need to assume you are being watched or that your actions will get back to your spouse. It is best not to date or do anything that might make you look bad in court. Talk with your attorney about possible dos and don'ts.
Moving out of the marital residence is an important decision that should not be taken lightly or without preparation. Make sure you understand all of the relevant issues before you make a move. Above all preparation is key. Do not do anything without discussing it with your divorce lawyer.
Photo courtesy of Meathead Movers
Labels: attorney, child custody, custody, dating, divorce, family law, moving, primary residential parent, property